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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
blacksheep
post Posted: Nov 10 2017, 06:46 PM
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Since Trump was elected, the S&P 500 has hit 60 all-time highs and risen 21%.
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Cartoon of the Day: In the Clouds
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The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Edgar Fiedler

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington
 
nipper
post Posted: Nov 10 2017, 05:19 PM
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and it's Friday (double points)

QUOTE
And here they are, the editors of "Australia's oldest newspaper", The Betoota Advocate. It's the regional masthead attracting national attention with such exclusives as "Stephen Bradbury identified as last non dual citizen eligible for parliament" and "Report: 9 in 10 encounters with Tasmania tigers are filmed on a Nokia 3200".

They are on time, full of smiles. They scarcely glance at the menu, ignoring 11 fish and seven crustacean dishes. "Hot seafood platter," they say in near-unison. They've clearly been here before. "Yes," says Errol. "We don't often get down to the seaside, and when we do, we like to get the best on offer. This is a popular place for people from the Diamantina."

Clancy has a bushy black beard, is nearly two metres tall and weighs "a buck-20". He has the commanding voice to match. His outback ensemble is finished with the sort of jacket one might wear to a wool auction. Clancy is effusive about the beauty and character of La Perouse.

"We are a stone's throw from the most gentrified place in Australia [Sydney's eastern suburbs] and this place is still very working class, still with an active and well-known Aboriginal community and we're in a Greek seafood restaurant, in an area named after a Frenchman."

Errol is more softly spoken, slighter and shorter (but hardly short). He orders a rocket salad for the table, and a VB. Our waiter Yusuf suggests garlic bread and chips. Clancy runs his large fingers down the wine list to the Henschke riesling, breaking the beer-only western Queensland stereotype. I agree to join him and Errol asks for a glass for later, so we end up with a bottle.

Errol is less taken with the big smoke. "Everything is more condensed," he says wistfully of his home town. "It's a bit quieter, it's a bit slower, it's a bit cheaper, though there are some very expensive parts of Betoota."

Really? Errol looks at his newly poured beer and breathes in deeply. "Betoota Grove, on top of the hill there, that's where all the movers and shakers live. Further down the hill you have the French Quarter. That's being sort of gentrified now but it does have its rougher aspects. Then you move on down the creek to Betoota Ponds …"

... What I most want to talk to them about is success. While so much of the media is struggling, The Betoota Advocate has expanded spectacularly since going online in 2014. Their website boasts 7.5 million page-views a month and more than 60 per cent of their readers are under 34. Anyone with high school or university age children will know their hold on Millennials. Clancy and Errol were recently mobbed near Sydney University.

This audience is coveted by politicians to the point where Malcolm Turnbull launched the new book, Betoota's Australia, at Parliament House last month. The PM even plugged their latest diversification venture, Betoota Bitter. "It's a form of a paywall," says Clancy.

"It's a beer wall," says Errol. He picks at an oyster Kilpatrick and explains how he was born in Hong Kong, 46 years ago. He worked for the British "redtops" [tabloids], "having the time of my life", before being implicated in the Leveson phone hacking inquiry and fleeing Down Under.

"Errol brings an element of worldliness," says Clancy, who is energetically working on our seafood mountain. He's Betoota-born-and-bred, 52 years old, and descends from "three, arguably four" former editors of the paper. He first saw the rest of the country with Jimmy Sharman's tent boxing troupe, fighting as Dancin' Clancy Overell.

Various sources – fake news, perhaps – suggest the pair is actually much younger and slightly less colourful; that they are Queenslander Archer Hamilton (Clancy) and Sydneysider Charles Single (Errol), both former journos. Some believe there is no truth to stories carrying such headlines as "Melbourne cafe's cool new deconstructed coffee includes African child labourer" and "Bleeding heart lefties call to remove Ivan Milat statue from Belanglo State Forest". It has been alleged that Betoota, although a real town, is deserted and was chosen for comedic purposes.

Clancy and Errol deny it all, and reject the term satire. They call it "independent regional journalism" but are clearly delighted when it reaches a broader audience. We discuss their story "Australia enjoys another peaceful day under oppressive gun regime", which sprints around the world virally every time there is a massacre in the US. After the recent Las Vegas shooting, their website briefly crashed.

When I ask if such satirical – sorry, journalistic – stories can make a real point, the first hints of breaking out of character emerge. Eating seafood by the waterside, coupled with a real passion for journalism and politics, will do that even to people claiming to be Betootanese.

"I think so," says Clancy, "because they are not just funny. People aren't necessarily laughing, so they must be doing something."

Danny's dιcor is simple, and classy if you enjoyed the 1980s. On this windy Tuesday, it's sparsely filled, but locals pack it out on weekends. We three are attacking the easy kills. Peeling those grilled king prawns is going to dampen a fast moving conversation. I offer my journalistic admiration for anyone who can – as they both do – grunt out 3000 words every day, even when they don't feel, well, funny.

"It's just what we do," offers Clancy.

"You've got to put the work in," says Errol, "put the hours in, stay on track with where you want to end up." He admits they have to read, watch and discuss a vast amount to stay on top of politics, showbiz, television, sport, regional affairs and every other area they report on. As the meal progresses they admit there can be difficult days, and the delivering of a few "sub-tier atrocities". But "then it will come back" says Clancy.

Errol nods. "It's made easier by a lack of red tape."

And by not having any subeditors? Clancy roars with laughter. "You've noticed. Look, we write it and publish it ourselves and that removes six processes that are probably in your operation."

That sounds dangerous. Satire is a defence in defamation, but is independent regional journalism? Errol jumps in: "The Independent Publishers of Australia Act of 2006 is our guideline."

I'm almost certain no such act exists. They say they've apologised only once, after publishing that the RSPCA would provide vets at Queensland dog fights. "To minimise risk, similar to pill testing," explains Clancy.

"We didn't get around to checking all the facts," adds Errol. "We had to cop it on the chin." The story stayed up, but with "the RSPCA" neatly replaced with "the Newman Government".

Clancy is the fluid talker, with a nicely modulated, radio-friendly voice. Errol is fond of the long mid-sentence pause. Their close friendship is obvious; they support each other, not quite finishing the other's sentences but certainly steering each other into ever more interesting rabbit holes.

In print, they manage to mix the big picture, such as Anglicanism ("Vote No says leader of church solely created to change definition of marriage"), with the small ("Local Greek tears up at sight of world's biggest concrete slab at Port of Brisbane"). They tread edgily but artfully through the minefield of race, gender, sexuality and drugs.

"We know how to talk their language," says Clancy of Millennials, "which is the result of trial and error. There are a lot of ways you can be politically incorrect, but just pretending everyone is this 'grey Australian' is probably one of the more offensive things you can do."

He's now checking his phone. A Kevin Spacey-inspired story went live when they arrived for lunch, headed "Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein also come out as gay". It has reached 200,000 people through Facebook in one hour, Clancy announces. "There are 500 people reading it right now."

Do they have a Betootanese perspective on what the traditional media are doing wrong?

"It's very old-fashioned," says Errol, "trying to get people to pay for journalism, but the sort they don't want to consume."

"They scaled up," adds Clancy, "but when it became necessary to scale down, the first thing to go were the journalists, who were the product.

"We have the Field of Dreams type angle, where if the product is good enough they'll come to you. Advertisers, sponsors, clients … People come to us when they see our numbers, they see our audience."

Aside from beer, and some clothing, they generate revenue with embedded ads and endorsement deals. They recently interviewed Richard Branson for Virgin. A sponsored video promoting a new super fund garnered more than 150,000 views. They've had time with Bill Shorten, Anthony Albanese, Barnaby Joyce and many more. What was Turnbull like?" He is who he claims to be," says Errol, thoughtfully. "A bloke from Point Piper with a nice house."

This kicks off a long discussion on his current problems. Politics fascinates them. They are knowledgeable on the minutiae, incisive and outwardly non-partisan. Maverick bush pollie Bob Katter is a popular subject for stories – and a regular interviewee.

"We don't endorse him, but he's a good one to align with," says Clancy, "because once you've done that, they … can't call you on being left wing or right wing, because no one knows what the hell he is."

........ They admit half the stories are written without consulting each other. "There is a trust in the format," says Clancy, "I think we both get it."

Read more: http://www.afr.com/business/media-and-mark...i#ixzz4y0j6KBAU



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"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne
 
arty
post Posted: Oct 13 2017, 03:43 PM
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I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)
 
blacksheep
post Posted: Oct 13 2017, 02:56 PM
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A little (yawn) stock market humour from Hedgeye to finish the week - happy Friday 13th, BTW - hope it lucky was for you smile.gif
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--------------------
The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Edgar Fiedler

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington
 
arty
post Posted: Sep 25 2017, 11:23 AM
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Australia is about to join the Space Age.
An Australian National Space Agency is to be founded.

Tony Abbott is all in favour of building the first coal-fired Interplanetary Spacecraft and plans to land a man on the Sun.
He volunteered Malcolm Turnbull to pilot the mission.

Chief Scientist Finkel pointed out that the Sun is far too hot to land a man on it.
Tony's answer was "Of course, we'll land at night."

Whereupon Pauline chipped in "Please explain? There is no Sun at night!"



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I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)

Said 'Thanks' for this post: draughtsman  triage  crooky  blacksheep  
 
surfer
post Posted: Sep 22 2017, 08:19 PM
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Once in a while we just have to stand back in awe of government.


The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever - 46 million people now receive Food Stamps.





Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." Their stated reason for the policy is because "The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves."



Thus ends today's lesson in irony.





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arty
post Posted: Sep 5 2017, 02:31 PM
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The Health Minister attends the Opening Ceremony of a brand-new Mental Asylum. After cutting the ribbon, he asks the Head Shrink, "How do you determine which patients need to be kept inside this fine facility, and who can be released into the Community?"
"Oh, there is a simple test," replies the Doctor. "We fill a bathtub, then give the patient a thimble, a spoon, and a bucket and ask him or her to empty the tub."
"Ahh - I get it," smiles the Minister. "A normal person would choose the bucket because that's the quickest way."
"No," says the Shrink, "a normal person would pull the plug. Do you prefer your bed next to the window? Or one near the door?"



--------------------
I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)

Said 'Thanks' for this post: alonso  
 
surfer
post Posted: Aug 28 2017, 01:48 PM
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A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie -- we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie.
[/size]

[size="+0"]So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked: "How many children do you have? He answered: "Twelve." The agent asked "Where are the others?" The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered "They're in the cemetery with their mother."

He got the house.


MORAL: It's not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words…





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blacksheep
post Posted: Aug 27 2017, 04:17 PM
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In Reply To: pacestick's post @ Aug 27 2017, 03:53 PM

Yes, I read that. smile.gif

Boo & Pistol Depp - look at their little smiling faces in the cartoon - are also rolling around having a "howl" and Amber Heard is sending Barnaby a box of kiwi fruit

Meantime the taxpaying citizens of Oz are probably not so happy with the debacle - I agree on that yawn
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--------------------
The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Edgar Fiedler

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington
 
pacestick
post Posted: Aug 27 2017, 03:53 PM
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In Reply To: blacksheep's post @ Aug 27 2017, 03:00 PM

well the kiwis are enjoying it anyway . Barnaby Joyce is the the number two nominated person to be new zealander of the year 2018


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