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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
joules mm1
post Posted: Apr 18 2014, 01:19 PM
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easter weekend.....surely a good time to do stats on religion
(right now i'm using my jedi mind powers to make you select the link...you know you want to

"i know i want to"

"yes, you do"

"yes i do"

"well, click the frikken link then"

you are now clikcing this link or tapping...whatever..

QUOTE (Dark Lord Darth)
Luke, search within yourself, you know you are my son, you know it's true


QUOTE (Wannabe Jedi Alumni Luke)
but but but, that can't be true......you're black!




--------------------
. . . . . . . . everything has an art
 
joules mm1
post Posted: Apr 17 2014, 06:06 PM
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gotta like good advertising huh.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=playe...p;v=eX6gZkaHmmY

.....wait for it, the punchline's at the end



--------------------
. . . . . . . . everything has an art

Said 'Thanks' for this post: triage  Alethia  
 
balance
post Posted: Apr 17 2014, 02:30 PM
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Lost your pointer? Find it here unsure.gif



--------------------
Day Trader: Lowest form of life in the known universe.
Shorter: Can limbo under a day trader.
Investor: Salt of the Earth.Sits to the right of God (Warren Buffet)
Share prices are only ever manipulated down.
Paper losses are not really losses.
Chat site posters always know better & know more than anyone about anything.
I'm 29.
The cheque is in the mail.

Said 'Thanks' for this post: arty  
 
surfer
post Posted: Apr 13 2014, 11:08 AM
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This is what happens when you are forced to work after the age of 70.
CLICK HERE <http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=19THRdXxmaI>


Said 'Thanks' for this post: Alethia  arty  Varmi  
 
surfer
post Posted: Apr 12 2014, 03:18 PM
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Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok
today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs
hurt, I no come wok.'



The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and
tell her to give me Sex. That makes everything better and I
go to work. You try that.


Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say
and I feel Great. I be at wok soon........You got nice house'.




 
mullokintyre
post Posted: Apr 11 2014, 06:56 PM
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THE BOTTLE OF WINE


Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the Indian got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Fred tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo man.

The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred.

"What in bag?" asked the old man.

Fred looked down at the brown bag and said: "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two.

Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said:

"Good Trade."





--------------------
sent from my Olivetti Typewriter.

Said 'Thanks' for this post: grevillia  
 


surfer
post Posted: Apr 6 2014, 03:03 PM
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) What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male? The wombat, because he eats, roots, and leaves.

 
surfer
post Posted: Apr 6 2014, 03:01 PM
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: How do you know if you're a bogan?
A: You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table
...in front of her kids.


 
surfer
post Posted: Apr 6 2014, 02:58 PM
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) An Aussie pirate walks into a bar with a wooden leg, a hook and an eye patch.
The Barman says 'Sheesh - How'd you lose the leg'

The Pirate says 'Arrrrr - A shark took it off at the knee'

The Barman says 'Thats no good, what about the hand?'

The Piarate says 'Arrrrg - Lost it in a bloody bar brawl'

The Barman says 'Jeez - Well what about the eye then?'

The Pirate says 'Thats easy a seagul crapped in it'

The Barman says 'What?!?!'

The Pirate says 'Arrrrrrr...I'd only had the hook one day...'



Jokes about an Australian's masculinity
1) The scene is set, the night is cold, the campfire is burning and the stars twinkle in the dark night sky...
Three hang-glider pilots, one from Australia, one from South Africa and the other from New Zealand, are sitting round a campfire near Ayers Rock, each embroiled with the bravado for which they are famous.
A night of tall tales begins....
Kiven, the kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest heng glider dude there us. Why, just the other day, I linded in a field and scared a crocodile thet got loose from the swamp. Et ate sux men before I wrestled ut to the ground weth my bare hends end beat ut's bliddy 'ed un.
Jerry from South Africa typically can't stand to be bettered. "Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight on a tiny treck, ind a fifteen foot Namibian desert snike slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grebbed thet borsted with my bare hinds and tore it's head orf ind sucked the poison down in one gulp. Ind I'm still here today".
Barry the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.


2) Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.

"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."

PM: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"

Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad... Brutain?..."

PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"

Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"

PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."

Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"

Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need.

Three days later a plane arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.

A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and ivery one.........


MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM




Said 'Thanks' for this post: arty  triage  
 
handel
post Posted: Mar 25 2014, 09:40 AM
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In Reply To: wren's post @ Mar 24 2014, 06:15 PM

You may also like this if you don't already

http://www.snopes.com/

h.


Said 'Thanks' for this post: wren  
 
 


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