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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
arty
post Posted: Aug 20 2014, 11:41 PM
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In Reply To: surfer's post @ Aug 17 2014, 09:09 AM

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first night, Joe slept with Bob. The next morning he comes to breakfast with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They ask, "Man, what happened to you?" His reply, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was Pete's turn. In the morning, same thing: hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They ask, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" Pete's reply, "Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. "Man, what happened?" Fred replies, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob in, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.

And then Bob sat up and watched me all night."

With age comes wisdom.



--------------------
I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)

Said 'Thanks' for this post: grevillia  
 
surfer
post Posted: Aug 17 2014, 09:09 AM
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Another wing suit skydiver dies. Its unbelievable what these guys will try.

WING SUITER MEETS HIS MAKER

 
surfer
post Posted: Aug 16 2014, 12:00 PM
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This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their view of the world.

One woman laid on the floor in a provocative manner.
The robber approached her saying, "Ma'am, this is a robbery not a rape. Please behave accordingly."
This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal.

While running from the bank the youngest robber (who had a college degree) said to the oldest robber (who had barely finished elementary school): "Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole?"
The older man replied: "Donít be stupid. It's a lot of money so let's wait for the news on TV to find out how much money was taken from the bank."
This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree.

After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant:
"Let's call the cops and tell them how much has been stolen."
"Wait,Ē said the Accountant, "before we do that, let's add the $800,000 we took for ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen as part of todayís robbery."
This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity.

The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed of $ 3 million.
The robbers then counted the money, but they found only $1 million so they started to grumble.
"We risked our lives for $1 million, while the bank's management robbed two million dollars without blinking? Maybe itís better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber."
This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power.


Moral: Give a person a gun and he can rob a bank . Give a person a bank and he can rob everyone.


Said 'Thanks' for this post: Alethia  
 
surfer
post Posted: Jul 25 2014, 05:29 PM
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A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. He chugs it, looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He chugs that beer, looks into his pocket and asks for another.

The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, "How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?"

The man says, "Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough for me to go home."




 
balance
post Posted: Jul 12 2014, 10:55 PM
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There maybe some truth in this one. devilsmiley.gif



--------------------
Day Trader: Lowest form of life in the known universe.
Shorter: Can limbo under a day trader.
Investor: Salt of the Earth.Sits to the right of God (Warren Buffet)
Share prices are only ever manipulated down.
Paper losses are not really losses.
Chat site posters always know better & know more than anyone about anything.
I'm 29.
The cheque is in the mail.
 
CurtisT
post Posted: Jul 4 2014, 03:08 PM
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In Reply To: arty's post @ Jul 1 2014, 12:10 PM

and for dentists its drill, fill and bill






 


arty
post Posted: Jul 1 2014, 12:10 PM
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In Reply To: birnam's post @ Jul 1 2014, 11:51 AM

... and for Project Engineers it's "When in trouble or in doubt, Run in circles, Scream and Shout!"



--------------------
I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)
 
birnam
post Posted: Jul 1 2014, 11:51 AM
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In Reply To: arty's post @ Jun 30 2014, 01:08 PM

Good one arty. Another one for engineers is "If in doubt give it a clout. The bigger the doubt the bigger the clout".

 
arty
post Posted: Jun 30 2014, 01:08 PM
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one for Engineers:
Attached File(s)
Attached File  Engineering.jpg ( 223.45K ) Number of downloads: 18

 




--------------------
I trade daily, but I am not a licensed adviser. Whether you find my ideas reasonable or not: The only person responsible for your actions is YOU.
I follow two rules: (1) There are no sacred truths. All assumptions must be critically examined. Arguments from authority are worthless. (2) Whatever is inconsistent with observed facts must be discarded or revised. We must understand the Market as it is and not confuse how it is with how we wish it to be. (inspired by Carl Sagan)

Said 'Thanks' for this post: birnam  
 
surfer
post Posted: Jun 24 2014, 11:52 AM
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<H2 style="Z-INDEX: auto; BORDER-BOTTOM: rgb(200,200,200) 1px solid; POSITION: static; TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(250,250,250); MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 10px; PADDING-RIGHT: 10px; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma, Calibri, Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; COLOR: rgb(51,51,51); FONT-SIZE: 14px; PADDING-TOP: 10px" class="posttitle icon">The Priest</H2>

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book,
and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered,
''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Grandfather has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said.
'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while,
then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom,
and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."



Said 'Thanks' for this post: arty  
 
 


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